A god and a metal arm
by ThePinkTeletubbie
Summary: As the anniversary of the New York attack arrives, Loki forms an unlikely friendship and finds comfort in a new friend. Although they seem the exact opposite of each other, Maybe they aren't as different as Loki first thought. Set post-Avengers. Stucky.


**A.N. Sorry if some of the information is incorrect. Please review! :) **

As the sun started to set on the avengers tower, Loki sat down on the cold floor and leaned against a wall. The base was empty, as the Avengers were off celebrating the anniversary of their reunion. The same day Loki attacked New York a few years ago. Most of the Avengers became comfortable with him and even got to know him a little, but some still thought he was a villain, that he deserved to be locked up or killed for his crimes. The trickster couldn't blame them, he did terrible things, and didn't make a great first impression. The only reason the Avengers even got close to him was because Thor had convinced them that Loki had changed his ways.

All the god of mischief could think about was all the lives that he had taken that fateful day. He thought of how many lives he had not only taken, but the lives that he had ruined. Because of him, innocent people were left without a parent, without a brother or a sister, without an aunt or an uncle, without a friend.

He was a frost giant. But not just any frost giant, he was the son of king Laufey. This race were seen as cruel monsters, heartless beasts, even murderers. Loki was never proud to be a frost giant. When he discovered his true origins, it hurt him. His parents, no, _Thor's parents, _hid it from him. For all those years, Odin favored Thor, praised him, gave him everything. And Loki, he was lost in his 'family's' shadow. The god had tried to rule Migard, starting with New York. He was ready to do anything to make his- _Thor's father, _proud. Instead, Odin locked him up. Had Thor not saved him, Loki would probably still be in prison.

As the god sat against the wall, a million thoughts voyaged trough his mind.

_Evil _

_Monster_

_Unworthy_

_Murderer_

_MONSTER…_

Those cruel words were said to the young god so much, that he started to believe them. As the thoughts tortured his mind, he pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his head into his newly positioned limbs. His bright green eyes began to well up with tears as the horrible memories haunted him. It wasn't long before tears began to escape. The words that left Loki's lips came out in a weakened tone. The last part coming out angrier than the rest. "They're right… I was a fool to think otherwise!"

Loki hated sounding weak, but it was inevitable. Usually, he would hide his true feelings from others or set up an illusion too fool everyone who looked his way, but this time, he was alone, with no one around to witness the mess he was in. There was no one to hide from.

Or so he thought.

As he cried, he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. As soon as the stranger made contact with him, Loki jerked his head up and crawled away towards the corner of the room.

The stranger approached him slowly as Loki backed away. Seeing how uneasy the man was, the stranger attempted to calm him with his speech. He put his hand out and reached for Loki. "Hey, it's okay. I won't hurt you." Loki continued to back away until the back of his head hit the wall. He was trapped. Loki pulled a dagger from his pocket and pointed it towards the other. He spoke quietly while choking on tears. "Stay back! Don't come any closer!"

The man rose his metal and real arm above his head and took a step back. "Woah, no need for that. I'm just trying to help."

Tightening his grip on the knife, Loki swallowed a lump in his throat before responding. "Who are you?!"

Taking a few steps closer, the man answered his question while lowering his raised arms. "I'm Bucky. And you are?"

With a quivering voice, the dark-haired god replied. "I'm… I'm-" His sentence was cut short by Loki's ongoing sobs. He dropped the dagger and covered his wet face in his hands, sobbing into them. Noticing the vulnerable state that his pier was in, he approached him and knelt down to hug the god of mischief.

"Hey, don't cry."

Loki gasped as Bucky's arms made their way around his body. As they did this, his sobs stopped for a few moments, replaced by fugitive tears. He was shocked that someone other than his brother was displaying affection towards him. But he was too sad to question it. Instead, the trickster threw his arms around Bucky and resumed his sobbing.

While choking on his sobs, Loki spoke quietly. "I'm a monster."

Bucky rubbed his hand up and down on Loki's back. "I don't know who you are, but I know you're not a monster."

Upon hearing Bucky's kind words, Loki's sobs became quieter. Immediately after, Loki pushed the man away from the embrace. He stared straight into Bucky's concerned eyes. "You misunderstand. I am Loki of Asgard…" He hesitated and sighed before continuing to speak, his guilty gaze facing the floor. "The same Loki that attacked New York."

Noticing a small tear form and fall down the god's face, the metal-armed man sat next to his new friend, placed his real arm on his back, and gave him a gentle squeeze. "I think Steve told me about you. He said you were a sweet guy."

Loki chuckled at his friend's comment. An avenger, other than his brother, thought he was sweet. However, the slight moment of happiness left almost as soon as it came. The same troubled look that drew Bucky to Loki in the first place had returned. He closed his eyes and tried to suppress the memories, but to no avail.

_Evil_

_Monster_

_Unworthy_

_MONSTER_

Bucky felt a shudder come from Loki and realized that something was troubling him. Still with a hand on his new friend, Bucky turned to face Loki. "Loki? Are you okay?"

Unable to meet Bucky's gaze, Loki hummed a no and shook his head accordingly.

"Well, what's on your mind?"

Loki sighed and looked at the ground. "I am a monster. I shouldn't be here. I should be rotting in the deepest dungeon Migard has to offer! I've killed so many people… I'm an evil, cruel, heartless monster!" By the end of his lecture, Loki had trails of tears trailing down his face. Bucky's face was painted with shock. His eyes were wide and his frown hung low. The dark-haired god sniffled and pulled his legs to his chest before continuing, choking on his feelings. "I can't expect you to understand how I feel."

Bucky let his arm fall from Loki's back before crossing it with his metal one. He sighed and looked away from his friend. "I've murdered people too."

Loki turned to face Bucky.

"I was brainwashed. My memories were wiped. When I came back, I spent days feeling guilty. It never really stopped."

Loki was at a loss for words. He didn't know how to react. Bucky put his metal arm in front of his face and examined it as he spoke. "They gave me this arm." A small tear made its way down Bucky's face. He sniffled and kept talking. "Every time I look at it… It reminds me of the people that I've killed."

Loki knew he was going to regret this, but it had to be done. "I'm terribly sorry. It must be a very painful memory."

The metal-armed man opened his mouth to protest, but was cut short by the string of memories that appeared as Loki placed his hand on Bucky's forehead.

The memory was foggy, as Bucky was half conscious at the time. Bucky's body was being dragged through the snow by an unknown being. His left arm was missing. In its place, a bloodied stump staining the white snow red with blood. All of a sudden, the image turned pitch black. When it returned, Bucky was struggling against his restraints. He attempted to speak, but an object closing his mouth prevented any verbal communication. A device was lowered on Bucky's head. He struggled against the treatment and grunted in fear and anger. His eyes were as wide as saucers. As the machine was mounted onto his head, Bucky fought. Then, everything went black.

Loki removed his hand from a teary-eyed Bucky. The latter was panting, and soon, the water trapped in his eyes fell to the floor. He covered his eyes and tried to wipe his tears, but they were coming out faster than he could wipe them all away. As predicted, Loki immediately regretted his decision, but what has been done, has been done. Just like Bucky had done for him, the god of mischief pulled his friend close to his chest and held him in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry."

Unable to respond, Bucky simply returned the hug and let his tears fall.

"_Wow Loki. Way to go. You haven't even known this guy for ten minutes and you've already made him cry. You really are a monster. Odin should've left me to die. It is my birthright after all." _Thought Loki. As he rubbed small circles into Bucky's back, the Allfather's words came to mind.

"_It is my birthright!" Argued Loki._

"_YOUR BIRTHRIGHT WAS TO DIE!" Boomed Odin_

_Although he didn't let the king see it, his words made a deep cut in Loki. He was lost in thought for the rest of the discussion. Not long after, the guards yanked on his chains and dragged him into the dungeons. Loki didn't fight the treatment, it's not like he could do anything anyway with those damn chains around him. He was being dragged like a pitiful dog. Guards threw the god's body onto the hard, cold, floor and left him there. Just like that. Loki felt that it was highly unlikely that anyone would come visit him, but he set up an illusion. Just in case. With the illusion fooling everyone who saw it, the god of mischief laid down on the floor that he had been thrown on, and cried in silence. Maybe Odin was right. He was a defenseless Jotun baby. Had Odin not taken him, he would've died. Maybe that would have been better. That way, he wouldn't be around to hurt anyone ever again._

As the terrible thoughts tortured his mind, Loki felt a strong sadness and anger, loom over him. Refusing to look weak in front of another once again, the trickster held back his feelings. He didn't shed a tear, but the sadness within him revealed his true appearance. His pale white skin was now turning into a soft shade of blue. Silver markings appeared on his face. His green eyes flickered, and faded into a deep, blood red.

Although Bucky's tears had ceased, he remained in his friend's arms. He felt a shudder come from the other man. Bucky closed his eyes and tightened his grip on Loki in an attempt to comfort him. All of a sudden, Bucky got colder, and colder, and colder. He opened his eyes and loosened his embrace with the god. He looked at Loki and noticed that he was blue. Wait a minute... He was BLUE! Bucky let out a scream and backed away from the blue god, breathing frantically.

"AAH!"

Loki frowned. He wore a hurt expression. "Bucky? What is it?"

"Yy- you're- you're blue! Why the fuck are you blue?!"

Loki looked down at his arms and noticed that they were indeed blue. He had taken his frost giant form. An appearance that he was not proud of. He sighed and transformed back into his previous form. The blue skin faded away, and his red eyes were washed away and replaced by his familiar green ones. He scratched the back of his neck and leaned against the wall. "Sorry about that."

Bucky's face was filled with confusion. He scanned Loki, watching as his skin transformed from blue to his usual pale white. "Wha- you- how- huh?!"

Loki looked down in shame. "I'm a frost giant."

"A whatawa?"

"A frost giant. Creatures of Jotunheim that are feared in all the realms. People see them as cruel, savage beasts. My- _Thor's father,_ defeated them in a war and took their source of power. He killed hundreds of giants during the war. I don't really know how, but he found an infant in an abandoned temple. Jotun blood stained Odin's hands, but for some reason, he took me in and raised me as his own."

"Okaaaay, but this still doesn't explain why you turned FUCKING BLUE! One second your skin is pale and the next second it's BLUE!" Said Bucky, as he waved his arms in the air.

"Frost giants have blue skin. My magic adapted to its new environment and changed my skin tone and eye colour accordingly. Sometimes it reverts back to blue, but it doesn't last long." Loki hesitated. "After I found out that I was adopted, Odin couldn't even tell me why because he fell asleep."

"Not to be rude or anything, but your dad sounds like an asshole."

Despite the situation they were in, a small smile crept onto the god's face. He snorted at the comment. Seeing Loki happy made Bucky smile too.

"Damn right he is!" Exclaimed Loki. As soon as he finished his phrase, the expression vanished and was replaced by an angry one. "He always favored Thor. It was always 'Thor this' and 'Thor that'. Thor got everything. He got praise, he got the throne, he got a magic hammer… He got love. And me? I didn't get ONE of those things from Odin! I was thrown aside to make room for Thor! Thrown into his shadow! I grew up without any friends! And I was ridiculed by Thor's!"

A single drop fell from Loki's eye, but he wiped it away before Bucky could notice. As the god of mischief spoke, he sniffled and stuttered due to tears. His weak-sounding voice cracked and quivered throughout his words. "All I wanted- was to be- equal to my brother… But instead… I turned into a heartless monster. Just like- mm- my rr- real dad…"

Bucky was saddened by his friend's story, he was starting to tear-up himself. Without hesitation, Bucky pulled Loki onto his chest and gave him a warm hug. Loki was taken by surprise by the sudden gesture, but he didn't fight it. Instead, he surrendered to his emotions, loosely wrapping his arms around his friend, and sobbed into Bucky's shoulder. "I'm- I'm a monster."

Without breaking the hug, Bucky spoke up. "Loki stop saying that! You are not-"

Pushing Bucky away from his body, Loki yelled a response. "I AM A MONSTER! I DESERVE TO DIE!"

Loki buried his head in his knees and sobbed. Apart from Loki's tears, silence filled the air. After a few seconds, Bucky placed his hand on Loki's shoulder and shook him gently. "Loki, look at me."

The god obeyed and raised his head, staring at his friend with teary green eyes.

Bucky placed his metal hand on Loki's free shoulder and gave him a reassuring look. "You are NOT heartless. You are NOT a monster. And you definitely don't deserve to die! You are loved! Remember that."

As Loki's lip quivered, Bucky wasted no time and pulled resumed their tight embrace.

"Why do you even care? No one else does." Replied Loki, in a broken voice.

Slightly smiling, Bucky spoke in a soft and clear voice. "Because you're my friend."

Eased by Bucky's words, Loki's sobs were reduced. He relaxed on Bucky's metal arm and closed his teary eyes, nearly falling asleep. "You're my friend too." Responded Loki, in a tired voice." He was seconds away from slumber, but was interrupted by Bucky.

"Loki?"

"Mhm?"

"You okay?"

Loki yawned before answering. "Mm, just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Me either."

"I know it sounds childish, but I keep having nightmares. I wake up in a pile of sweat, messy blankets and tears. Please don't tell anyone."

Although Loki didn't tell him, he had a feeling that the god was the one screaming in the middle of the night. Often, he would wake up through the night to the sound of screaming. Bucky didn't think much of it, until now. "_Loki must've been the one screaming. The poor guy thinks he's a monster." _Thought Bucky.

"I won't." Bucky yawned as well. "Mmm, I'm tired too. Wanna go to bed?"

But Loki was already fast asleep on Bucky's shoulder. The latter smiled as he moved Loki into a more comfortable position on his legs. Without disturbing his friend, he grabbed a nearby blanket and draped it on top of the sleeping god. Suddenly, Bucky's eyes became heavy. Realizing he was moments away from sleep, Bucky rested his head on the thick windowsill and quickly fell asleep with his hand resting on Loki's back. He smiled as he let out soft snores.

Ooooooooo

The moon was up and the stars were glowing in the sky when the Avengers returned to their base. The door was unlocked with the turn of a key, and one by one, the gang shuffled inside. As it was late, everyone apart from Tony, Thor, and Steve went to bed. Instead, the trio continued their conversation in the main room.

"Wow! What a night!" Exclaimed Tony, as he waltzed into the tower.

"That was the most fun I've had in awhile! We should do this again soon!" Added Thor.

As Steve Rogers was taking off his hoodie, he glanced near the side of the large room and noticed two figures. He smiled and whispered to himself. "I know that snore anywhere." Upon further examination, he determined that it was Bucky and Loki sleeping.

"Hey guys?" Said Steve.

Tony lifted his head in recognition. "Yeah Steve?"

In a quieter voice, Steve responded. "We need to be quiet."

Tony lowered his voice. "Why?"

Steve Rogers smiled and pointed to the corner of the room that Bucky and Loki were sleeping in. "I don't want to wake them up. Buck hasn't slept in awhile."

"Loki hasn't either. I'd rather not disturb him." Added Thor.

Tony yawned as he stretched. "Well while you two babysit Sleeping Beauty I'm going to go work in the lab." As he made his way to the lab, he spoke up. "You know how to get there if you need anything."

With that, Thor and Steve sat down on a nearby couch, facing Loki and Bucky. After a brief moment of silence, Steve spoke up. "How long do you think they've been like that?"

Thor smiled at his brother as he slept, finally he could rest. "Who knows? At least they're getting the rest they need. I can't remember the last time Loki slept all night."

"I guess you're right."

Bucky let out a few soft grunts through his smiling sleeping face. "Steve." He stretched his arms out, as it he was petting something. "I love you Steve."

Bucky's words made Steve's smile grow. His cheeks turned a bright pink for a few seconds before slowly fading away. Thor turned just in time to see the last hints of pink linger on Steve's face. The happiness was contagious, Thor smiled. He turned back to 'Sleeping Beauty', as Tony called them, and his smile lowered as he noticed that, while Bucky seemed to be happy, Loki seemed uneasy. Contrary to Bucky's light and happy expression, Loki had a sad and scared one. He was curled up in a loose ball on Bucky's legs, his arms clutched close to his chest. Thor sighed, which caught Steve's attention. Out of curiosity, Steve faced Thor and saw his saddened expression.

"Thor?" Whispered Steve.

"Yes?" Replied Thor.

"What's wrong?"

Thor sighed again. "It's Loki."

Steve looked at Loki and immediately understood what his friend was talking about. His expression also faded as he saw Loki's dread-filled face. "Is he okay?"

Thor simply shrugged. "I don't know, he's been having nightmares lately."

"About what?"

"I'll let him tell you."

Loki shuddered and flinched in his sleep. He was having another nightmare.

_Loki stood in the streets of New York. In front of him, there was Thor, his back turned to his younger brother. Loki stood in place as if he couldn't move. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by his brother._

"_Why brother? Why are you doing this?"_

_Loki was about to speak, but was pushed to the ground by an unknown person. He let out a whimper, but it went unnoticed by both men. Almost as if he couldn't be heard. _

_Thor turned around. "Answer me Loki."_

_Loki looked up at the man who had pushed him down, and saw a younger version of himself. He had shorter hair and was wearing his golden helmet. _

_The younger Loki clenched his fists. "Why? WHY!? Because these mortals were made to be ruled! We are gods! We should be respected as such!"_

"_Taking over Migard is NOT the best solution! Surrender!"_

_Loki got to his feet and ran towards his brother. "Thor!" However, before he could reach him, the other Loki covered the first Loki's mouth with his hand, muffling his cries. The second Loki's hand was as strong as metal. No matter how hard the real Loki tried, he could not get free. The second Loki held him against his chest, preventing him from escaping. _

"_You are wrong! I need to kill these people!" He screamed._

"_You know, everyone else is right. You ARE a monster! I should've killed you the moment I found out you were a frost giant! I don't know why Odin saved you! He was a fool to do so! I HATE you!"_

_As those words left his brother's mouth, Loki felt his heart break. Tears lingered in his eyes. He stretched out his hand and further struggled against the treatment he was receiving, but was held back by the evil Loki. His muffled cries were still left unheard. Tears clouded his eyes as the dream Loki raised his scepter and hit Thor with a lethal blast. A big blue explosion erupted in front of them. _

_Blood spilled from the explosion victim. Thor fell to the floor, lifeless._

"NO!" Exclaimed Loki, as he pushed himself off of Bucky.

Shocked by the loud noise, Bucky quickly woke up, took a defensive position, and lunged forward. "WHO WHAT WHERE?!"

Steve jumped in his seat and snickered at Bucky's reaction, but Thor sat still, he expected his brother to wake up this way.

Loki starred at the floor, panting. His arms were the only thing preventing his body from collapsing. Beads of sweat decorated his body. Tears formed and fell from his eyes. His eyes darted around the room, looking for anyone. He turned his head and saw his brother and Steve Rogers, sitting on the couch. He let out a relieved sigh once he saw that his brother, was in fact alive.

"Hello brother."

Loki's breathing slowly returned to a normal rhythm after he heard his brother's voice. "How long have we been like this?"

Thor responded. "We don't know. You were like this when we arrived."

Loki turned to Bucky and looked at him with a guilty expression. "Did- did I fall asleep on you?"

Bucky smiled. "Yeah, don't worry about it. You needed the break."

Reassured by his friend, the god of mischief removed his body from Bucky and leaned against the wall.

Steve approached his friend and stretched. "About time you woke up."

Bucky's smile widened. "Steve!" The captain knelt down and hugged his friend.

The captain spoke up. "Don't you think a bed would be more comfortable than the floor?"

"I was tired! I fell asleep." Responded Bucky.

"Speaking of which, I didn't know you talked in your sleep!" Continued Steve.

While getting up from the ground, the metal-armed man's smile shifted into a nervous one. "Oh no. What did I say?"

"Something along the lines of 'I love you Steve.'"

Bucky blushed. "Did I really say that?"

The god of thunder's voice emerged from near the spot that Steve was sitting in. "You did."

Steve looked at Bucky with a warm smile. "I love you too Bucky."

The gap between the pair closed as they became lost in each other's arms. Steve pulled Bucky into a long, passionate kiss.

As Bucky and Steve kissed, Loki rolled his eyes. He looked up at Thor and stared at him with a sad face. Thor motionned for Loki to sit next to him. Hesitantly, Loki stood up, walked to the couch, and slumped down next to his brother Thor. He wrapped himself in his brother's red cape and rested his head on Thor's strong chest. Thor placed his arm around him and held him tightly.

Thor spoke first. "Nightmare?"

Loki nodded. "Mhm"

"Want to talk about it?"

In a tired, dry voice, Loki replied. "No. Wanna sleep."

"Okay. I'll take you to bed."

The god of thunder started to move Loki, but the younger god threw his arm onto his chest in an attempt to stop him from leaving.

"Stay." Muttered Loki.

"Okay. We'll stay here."

As Steve and Bucky broke their kiss, they made their way to their rooms, holding hands. All of a sudden, Steve stopped. "What about Thor and Loki?"

Bucky looked at Loki, curled up in his brother's cape and protected by Thor's hand. "Don't worry. I think they'll be fine."

Steve looked down too and smiled. He squeezed Bucky's hand and kissed his cheek as they walked to their rooms.

Thor was already snoring, and Loki was moments away from sleep. Loki smiled as he felt his brother's warm hand on his back. As he rested on his brother, wrapped in his cape, Loki felt happy. It was as if all the events of earlier were washed away by his brother. He didn't admit it often, but Loki truly loved Thor. He was his one and only brother. The one that he grew up with. Loki smiled as he recalled many happy memories of his childhood with Thor.

Just before slipping into slumber, Loki whispered to Thor. "I love you brother."

Thor hugged Loki a little harder. "I love you too Loki."

Loki's smile widened. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe he wasn't a monster. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as bad as people thought. Loki soon fell into a dreamless sleep on his already sleeping brother, thinking happy thoughts and feeling happier than he had felt all day.


End file.
